Saving Grace
by Random1377
Summary: Being a teenager is rough  especially if you hang out with Children.


Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned by Studio Gainax animation, not me. Should they, or anyone affiliated with them, request it, I will remove all traces of this story from the web. Thank you.

Saving Grace

By Random1377

Hello, my name is Grace.

Hell of an introduction, isn't it? You'd think, with a name like that, that I'd be all proper and full of my namesake.

You'd be wrong.

Wait, let me back up… do this properly.

My name is Amelia Grace Jefferson – how do you do? I'm an American immigrant living in Japan, Tokyo-3, to be exact – this is an important detail…really. I'm fourteen, five foot five inches tall, I have green eyes (not emerald green, more like muddy, jade green), and green hair.

No, just kidding. Actually, I have brown hair… which is kinda boring. I tried dying it green once – mostly because a friend of mine said it would accentuate my eyes. I ended up having to cut it almost all off, so now it's barely past my ears – kinda like this girl in my class. I'll tell you about her in a minute.

But first, some advice – from me to you… friends mean well, but they don't always think ahead.

Which goes back to my story about the green hair, but has more bearing on what I'm about to tell you.

Anyway, I'm sure you don't really want to hear about me – and I can't say I blame you, I'm not that interesting… but I _do_ have a little story to tell you.

I guess I should go back to the first day I got here…

"I'm Asuka Langley Souryu, charmed, aren't you?"

That, of course, would be Asuka. Red hair, blue eyes, big boobs (you think girls don't notice other girls? Whaaaaaaaatever), bad attitude.

It being the first day for both of us, we both had to introduce ourselves. She went first, which was fine by me, and really freaked out three of the students in the classroom. I found out later that they knew her before, and based on what I heard from them, and her, the distaste was mutual.

"It's the devil girl!" one of the three gasped, still pointing in horror.

Let me introduce Spaz number 1, later to be dubbed Touji Suzuhara. Kinda cute, but a little too 'jock' for my tastes.

Yeah, yeah, I know… I'm only fourteen, I don't really know _what_ my tastes are – but really, I think I'm advanced enough to know that I like my guys a little, umm… smarter.

Now don't get me wrong, Touji's not an idiot – he's actually a lot smarter than he lets on, and really loyal to his friends. He just… I don't know, I guess my standards are too high.

I'm rambling, forgive me.

"This is Hell, isn't it?" another said, pushing his glasses up on his freckled face, "We're literally, in _Hell_ right now…"

This was Spaz number 2 (I decided on the spot that they were all spazs) Kensuke Aida, a very smart guy… but just a _little_ too into the whole 'art of war' scene, you know?

"Come on, guys…" the third one said quietly, catching my attention, "she's a pilot… where else would she go?"

Ahhh, Shinji Ikari – Spaz number 2.5, because he was just too damn low-key to be number 3 – the shyest boy on the surface of the Earth. Brown-hair, deep blue eyes, kinda scrawny, but that's ok by me… you can work on that. I didn't think _too_ much of him at first. I thought he was cute, and all… but he kinda came off as a wimpy little yes-man. But the more I got to know him… wait, I'm getting ahead of myself again.

"You pathetic little boys," Asuka said with a grin, "you're in the presence of perfection, and you don't even appreciate it… sad, sad, sad…"

"If you mean perfect evil," Kensuke said quietly, "I guess you're right…"

Before the redhead could retort (and I knew she had something _nasty_ in mind by the way her grin spread into a malicious smile) the teacher stepped in. "That will be quite enough. Miss Souryu, please take your seat."

The girl smiled sweetly. "Yes sir," she said pleasantly… but I could tell she wasn't through with the three young men in the back.

The teacher sighed, and I could tell his thoughts were going the same way mine were. He gestured for me to introduce myself.

Now let me say, I hate public speaking. I don't really know many people that like it (except maybe Asuka) but I particularly dislike it. I felt like everyone was staring at me – and you know why? They were. It's not so unusual, I suppose, I mean, it's junior high… people are curious.

Not that knowing the curious nature of teenagers made it easier to write my name on the blackboard… or turn and face the class.

"My name is Amelia Grace Jefferson," I said quietly, blushing a deep red, "umm… please call me Grace. I'm from America, my dad just transferred here, I like to dance and listen to music, and I…" I trailed off, realizing that I was babbling.

"Please take your seat," the teacher said tiredly, obviously seeing me as another form 'problem child' – the kind that's bubbly and obnoxious, trying to cover up her insecurities with fake smiles and loud, jagged laughter. Ironically enough, I think he had me pegged as exactly the type of person I hated most.

"Yes sir…" I whispered, bowing my head.

It's kind of odd… when I'm around my friends, I'm totally different. I'm calm, collected, even outgoing… kinda. But in front of a bunch of strangers… I don't know, I just can't function, I guess.

"Sit here," a girl with dark brown hair, up in two ponytails, said kindly, pointing to a desk. "I'm Hikari Horaki, the class representative," she said with a smile, "don't worry about the first day… it gets easier…"

I smiled gratefully. "Thanks…" I sighed, taking my seat, "I hate introducing myself… makes me feel like I'm a new exhibit at the zoo…"

Hikari giggled slightly, covering her mouth. "Feeding time is twelve forty," she said with a wink, turning back to her desk, which was directly in front of mine, "I'll show you around then."

"You don't have to," I said quietly, "I don't want to be any trouble."

"Actually," she said, turning back to me with a smile, "I _do_ have to… it's my duty as class rep… but I don't mind. Now pay attention… or we'll both get in trouble…"

And that's how my first day of school in Tokyo-3 started.

**

"This is the cafeteria," Hikari said as we continued our tour of the school, "avoid at all costs."

The brown-haired girl had proven to be a lot more talkative than I thought she would be. In class, I had kinda formed a picture of her as a no-nonsense, stand-up girl, running the classroom with quiet authority and a firm hand.

Well… she _was_ like that – in the classroom. I realized as she showed me around that much of the way she acted was a front for the teacher. No, that's not right… front implies that she was deliberately trying to deceive the man. I think it would be better to say she was more restrained when she was 'on duty,' wanting to make a good impression and do her best at the job she had been assigned.

Of course… when she was _off_ duty…

"Like any of the boys in class?" Hikari asked me as we walked down the hall, casting a sidelong glance at me, "Not the best selection in the world, but there's a few to work with."

I blushed faintly. "Yeah, there's a couple cute ones," I admitted, liking the girl more and more as she winked at me and dropped her voice.

"Stay away from Aida and Suzuhara," she said conspiratorially, "the two that were fighting with Asuka. I've known them a long time, and they're nothing but trouble."

I nodded thoughtfully. "What about the third? The brown-haired guy? He was kinda cute…"

"Ikari?" Hikari said thoughtfully, "I don't know too much about him, really… he hasn't been here _too_ long, and he's kinda quiet." She grinned, looking around to make sure no one was listening, "Cute butt, though…"

I giggled. "You're bad!" I scolded, "I thought you were all proper and upright and stuff!"

Hikari laughed. "I am!" she insisted, "Most of the time." She shrugged as we stepped outside, headed for the basketball court and pool, "But I like to look just as much as the next girl."

"So," I inquired, "anyone in class that _you_ like?"

She blushed, nearly stumbling. "Ummm… maybe," she conceded, "but I'm still not really sure, so I'm not gonna say anything about it." She grinned, "And don't bother asking me who, either," she said, "'cause I won't tell you."

"Meanie," I said, feigning a pout. "Why aren't you showing around the other new girl?" I asked as we reached the basketball court, "Has she been here before?"

Hikari shook her head. "No," she said thoughtfully, "I think she's getting shown around by Shinji… or maybe one of the teachers. She's a pilot, you know."

"An EVA pilot?" I asked, my eyes widening as she nodded, "wow…"

Everyone knew about the EVAs by then – you couldn't really keep a secret like that for very long… but to know that I was actually that close to a real pilot! And I hadn't even known!!

Hikari grinned suddenly. "So's Shinji…"

My jaw dropped open. "Really…?" I asked, trying to decide if she was kidding or not, "He looks so… so…" 

"Wimpy?" Hikari provided. As I nodded, she shrugged, "People aren't always what they seem, I guess…" she looked at the boys running back and forth on the court, "Touji and Kensuke saw him piloting," she said softly. "I guess it was pretty intense… Touji said he killed an angel with just his EVA's knife, and he was screaming when he did it – like a soldier in one of those old war movies."

From the corner of my eye, I spotted the topic of our conversation, sitting quietly on the sidelines and looking up at the pool. I followed his line of sight, finding that he was staring thoughtfully at the blue-haired girl from our class.

"Who's she?" I inquired, tilting my head in that direction as the brown-haired boy's friends became aware of his scrutiny and began teasing him (what they were saying, I didn't know, since I was too far away, but it must have been bad, because he was steadily turning red).

"That's Rei Ayanami," Hikari said, frowning slightly, "_really_ quiet girl… I used to think she was autistic or something, because she spends the whole day just staring out the window." She shrugged. "I've tried to talk to her," she said with a sigh, "but she mostly just stares and answers with 'yes,' 'no,' or 'I do not understand your question.'" She shrugged, "And just so you know, she's a pilot, too."

I almost fell down. "Three pilots go to this school??" I said, unable to hide my amazement.

Hikari nodded. "Yeah…" she acknowledged, "aside from Asuka, they're pretty quiet people… it must be hard."

I considered this for a minute, looking at Shinji as his friends laughed. "You think they're going out?" I asked thoughtfully, "Ayanami and Ikari, I mean. They're both quiet… and they work together, so…"

Hikari shook her head emphatically. "I don't think so," she said confidently, "they're quiet, that's true… but they're both pretty shy, and I _think_ if there was anything going on, they'd be together more often. I mean, I know some people don't like to show off when they're going out, but those two… I dunno, I just think they wouldn't be able to hide it."

"You know a lot about people," I observed.

Hikari blushed, waving her hand to dismiss the idea. "I'm just around these people all day, every day," she said with a shrug, "kinda hard _not_ to get a feel for how they behave – and I _am_ the class rep, so I have to know at least a little bit about them." She grinned ruefully, "Just don't ask me about any of their families, or any grown ups… unless I can hang around a person for a while, I'm no good at figuring them out."

"Me neither," I agreed, smiling as Shinji tried to fend off his friend's jokes, "my dad says that my mother was pretty good at it…" I trailed off, my smile slipping away.

"I'm sorry," Hikari said softly, picking up on the note of sadness in my voice (regardless of what she says, she's actually incredibly perceptive), "has she… been gone long…?" Before I could answer, she raised a hand. "Never mind," she said firmly, "we don't have to talk about it." She smiled, "Are you named after her? Is that why you go by Grace instead of your first name?"

I snorted. "Hardly," I smiled again as the young pilot rose to his feet, his face so red I could spot it from where we were standing, "I'm named after a cartoon character." I sighed sadly, "My dad was – and still is – into animation, especially Japanese animation. I'm named after a character from some fantasy slash comedy shows." I grimaced, "I have a plushie of her, if you really wanna see… and I think my dad still has the show somewhere."

Hikari was fighting back laughter. "So are you the comic relief, or the straight-man?" she asked with a giggle.

I stuck my tongue out at her. "I was the goofy sidekick with a flair for the dramatic and an overly-developed sense of justice." I shook my head in disgust, "I think I also had a crush on a golem-looking guy, but I wasn't really old enough to understand the show when dad was into it."

Hikari couldn't contain her laughter. "Well," she said with a wink, "Shinji's not exactly a golem, but Rei's pretty close… so unless you like girls, I think you're ok."

I rolled my eyes. "They made you Class Rep…why, again?"

She sobered slightly, though she kept her smile. "I'm not usually like this, and _please_ don't tell anyone I said that about Rei…" she dropped her eyes, suddenly embarrassed, "that was kinda mean…"

"Your secret is safe with me," I said quietly, edging closer to her, "if you can keep my… special tastes a secret… cutie." As her eyes widened, I burst out laughing, "Oh, man!! You're too easy!!!"

"Brat…" Hikari mumbled, blushing deeply, "it's not funny! I've had girls come on to me before."

I continued to snicker, "Probably 'cause you've got such a cute little ass."

"Uhhh!" the brown-haired girl groaned, "And you're sitting behind me." She shook her head, smiling broadly. "I like you, Grace," she said simply, "you're funny."

"Looks don't count for everything!" I shot back, breaking into fresh laughter.

She blinked, and joined me a moment later. Soon, we were on the soft grass, rolling with laughter as we traded insults and jokes. When we finally caught our breath, I sat up… and immediately blushed, looking quickly back down as I found Shinji staring at us curiously. When I looked back up, Touji and Kensuke were again teasing him – this time about staring at the 'new girl,' and his face was once more beet-red.

But that was ok… I was already on my way to deciding that he was my kind of guy… and the walk home just cemented it in my mind.

**

The last bell had hardly faded before half of the class was out the door, leaving a faint trail of dust in their wake and screaming and laughing their way down the hall.

I was one of the last to leave, since I had a bit of trouble logging off my system. Oh, that sounds funny to you? Well, considering that half of our tests, homework, and all of our e-mail and personal notes were stored in the stupid things, closing it down was pretty damn important… and it was complicated.

"Shinji," I looked up as Hikari approached the brown-haired boy, "would you please walk with Miss Jefferson? She lives between here and your building, and she's new to town."

He looked over at me, obviously hesitant, and nodded, looking away quickly. "Yeah," he said softly, fighting with me to see who could blush brighter, "I can do that, Miss Horaki…"

"Please call me Hikari," the girl replied… though judging by the tone of her voice, it wasn't the first time she had made that request, and she didn't really hold out any hope of him complying.

Shinji muttered something I couldn't hear, but which greatly amused Hikari (I found out later he'd said, 'Yes, Miss Horaki') and turned to Touji and Kensuke, who were waiting by the door for him. "I'll see you guys later, right?" he asked, his tone more hopeful than I would have thought a simple 'guy's hangout' appointment should be.

I wasn't the only one who thought that, either. Or so it seemed when Touji rolled his eyes, "Yeah, man… for the twentieth time, eight o'clock."

The brown-haired boy looked relieved as his friends departed, both shaking their heads. As they reached the door, Kensuke turned back and looked at Shinji, pushing his glasses up as he said, "Don't be late, Shinji… just because you're walking a cute girl home doesn't mean you get to blow us off to go neck with her in the par- OWWW!!!"

"_Mis_ter Aida," Hikari said crisply, pulling none-too-gently on the ear she had custody of, "may I see you in the hallway for a moment?" As the unfortunate boy was led from the room, I looked awkwardly at Shinji.

"Guess we should go," he said after a long minute of silence, "are you leaving too, Ayanami?"

I blinked in surprise, turning to find the blue-haired girl still at her desk, unabashedly studying me. _I totally forgot she was here!_ I thought, amazed, _Did she even say ANYTHING today??_

"Not yet," Rei replied softly, her voice coming like a soft autumn breeze.

I realized that I was leaning towards her, expecting her to say more (and wanting to actually _hear_ it), but I quickly straightened when Shinji nodded, shouldering his backpack and starting for the door. "Wait up," I called, grabbing my own pack and following him. I took a final look back as I walked out the door… finding the quiet girl's cool, red eyes still appraising me.

I shivered and hurried after my guide.

**

"You, ummm… speak Japanese pretty well," Shinji observed after we had been walking for a few minutes, blushing as I turned to look at him.

Yes, yes… we both blush a lot, I know. It's just the way we are. You have to understand that Shinji (from what I would learn later) comes from a very secluded home, and only recently had started to socialize. As for me, well… I was home-schooled, and while I _did_ have a lot of social interaction – my father made sure of it – I wasn't too skilled with large groups… or dating. 

Not that we were dating!! I just… oh, never mind.

"My mother was Japanese," I explained, "and my father speaks it pretty well… so I was raised bilingual." I blew out a gusty sigh, "It certainly made it easier to watch all of dad's anim_aaaYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!"_

Now, I don't normally end sentences in high-pitched squeals (though I _do_ know some girls that do) but I don't normally find myself slipping on a piece of garbage and falling towards the cement suddenly, either.

__

Hope he doesn't see my panties, and yes, that's what I thought as I fell towards the street, my eyes widening as I found myself juuuuuuust at eye-level with the capitol V on the Volvo delivery truck heading my way.

I suppose this would be a much shorter story – and told by someone else – had Shinji not reached out and grabbed my arm, yanking me back up onto the sidewalk… or rather, onto _him_ as we both _fell_ to the sidewalk.

For a moment, nothing was said as my eyes gazed into his, both of us breathing rapidly. Then Shinji said, "Can you… get off?"

I blinked, noting the rather strained quality of his voice. Looking down, I understood the reason why. "Ahh!!" I yelped, jumping up off of him. You see, my right knee had landed squarely in the middle of the boy's lap, resulting (I'm sure) in a rather sizable amount of pain for him. So not only did he save my life, he also quite possibly ruined his chances of having kids.

"You saved my life…" I breathed, my eyes still wide as he groaned and sat up, covering his damaged privates with both hands and looking as if he may break into tears – and not from the emotional impact of the situation.

But, in true guy fashion, he was quick on the retort.

"I didn't mean to," he gasped through the pain, completely unaware of how it sounded.

I stared at him, dumbfounded… then I threw my head back and laughed. I laughed longer and harder than I had in the four weeks it had been since daddy announced that we would be moving to Tokyo-3. Shinji just looked at me for a minute, uncertain of what to do… and finally joined me in my laughter.

Now, it wasn't him saving me that changed my opinion of him… and it wasn't his unconscious honesty – though that _was _a source of amusement on several occasions. No, I decided that Shinji Ikari, the Third Child, _might _not be such a doofus because of his laugh. Rare… pure… and sounding like sunshine (if you can get what I'm trying to say), it was – and still is – one of the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard. I decided then and there that it was something I could get used to.

Now, now… don't get me wrong. I didn't decide on the spot that I was going to make myself Amelia Grace Ikari (though that _does _have a nice ring, now that I think about it), but it _did_ ensure that I would spend more time with him than I otherwise would have based on his prior shyness and awkwardness.

It's kind of ironic, I suppose, that a tentative, hesitant little laugh could have such an impact… and that being friends with Children would prove to be so interesting.

"Well," I said, still chuckling a bit as I got to my feet, "even if you didn't mean it… thanks."

"Sure…" Shinji replied, taking my hand and getting to his feet, wincing a bit and covering his obviously tender, umm… self…

"Sorry about that…" I mumbled, blushing terribly. _Bet Hikari never got that far on a first date,_ I thought suddenly, trying to suppress a fresh bout of laughter.

Shinji, thinking my laughter was directed his way, blushed deeply and asked if we were close to my house yet. I assured him that I could make it the rest of the way without falling in front of any more trucks and thanked him for taking me that far.

He bowed, rather awkwardly, and mumbled something about seeing me tomorrow. As he hurried off, I sighed. _THAT kid needs a friend…_ I thought sadly, _or a cup._ I grinned at my little interior joke and finished the rest of the short walk home in silence.

**

I won't bore you with the details of the next couple weeks because, well… they're boring. I guess I should tell you that Hikari and I became close friends, as did Hikari and Asuka… though not me and Asuka – all that clear? It's kinda odd, I guess, that Hikari would be friends with both of us, but that we wouldn't be friends, but that's the way it works sometimes, I suppose.

It wasn't that I disliked Asuka. I thought she was a bit brash and boastful, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't have hung out with her – after all, daddy always told me not to judge people before you knew them. I don't think she particularly disliked me, either… it was more just that we didn't have anything in common.

Hikari was the middle ground. She liked the same kind of music I liked, but favored the kind of clothes Asuka liked, do you know what I'm saying? She had enough in common with each of us that she was comfortable with either of us – though she _did_ try to get us to talk to each other a couple times, it just didn't quite gel.

Anyway, I think it was my lack of friends that prompted Hikari to try and set me up with Shinji. Believe me, I've seen better plans go wrong… and hers wasn't so well thought out to begin with, but at least her heart was in the right place.

"Doing anything this Sunday?" Hikari asked me one sunny afternoon.

Never realizing that I was paving the path towards my own frustration and embarrassment, I shook my head. "Nope," I said, packing up my school books, "you got something planned?"

She smiled, going right for the kill. "Some of us are getting together to go to the movies," she said brightly, "me, Asuka, Aida, Suzuhara, Miyazawa, Hideki, Ikari – whole bunch of people. Wanna come?"

I read somewhere that game animals, deer, antelope, foolish teens, etcetera, have their eyes widely spaced, so they can see attacks coming from the sides. Well, I guess I must fall into that category, because I never saw the attack that came from directly in front of me, smiling that innocent little smile even as she planned my demise, er- date.

"Sounds like fun!" I said, "What time?"

You know the Cheshire cat? From Alice in Wonderland? Do I _need_ to say anymore about her smile?

"Seven o'clock."

Had I been paying closer attention, I might have picked up on the note of satisfaction in her voice… but like I said, I never saw any of it coming. "Should I meet you at your house?" I asked, shouldering my bag.

"Meet me at the 6-plex," Hikari answered, "don't be late."

"Roger," I grinned, saluting her, "Lieutenant Jefferson understands that this mission is of-"

"Oh God," the girl moaned, "stop! I hear enough of that out of Aida!"

I laughed, heading for the door. "It COULD be worse, Ninth Child!" I retorted, giving her my haughtiest voice, "I COULD let your city get stomped flat by the angels!"

I knew that would get her. I could do a pretty fair impression of Asuka… though why she was always calling Shinji 'Third Child' I never quite got. I figured it was something to do with the EVAs, but I didn't really think Shinji or Rei would want to talk about it – and I was afraid that if I asked Asuka, she wouldn't STOP talking about it.

Anyway, I was smiling as I walked out of the classroom, having no idea that my newest friend was already calculating every single angle… to get me and Shinji together.

**

"Hey Shinji!"

Shinji looked up as I called him, waving me over. "Hi Grace," he said, holding the door to the theatre open for me. "Come on, it's all wet out."

I nodded, hurrying in and shaking off the light rain that had fallen on me with a mumbled thanks. "Where's everyone else?" I asked, confused. "Hikari DID say seven, right?"

"Yeah," Shinji confirmed, looking around the nearly empty lobby. "Maybe they got caught in the rain or something?"

"Shinji," I said dryly, "it's been raining for like, ten minutes, it's hardly a drizzle, and by the looks of it – it's already stopping." I shook my head, "Everyone should be here, or just getting here."

He looked at his watch, frowning. "Well," he said skeptically, "it's five past… let's get some popcorn or something and go in."

"I have to buy my ticket," I said, heading for the ticket booth, but Shinji grabbed my arm.

"Already got 'em," he grinned, "come on."

I blinked. "Umm… ok."

I followed him to the concession stand, and we each got a drink and some candy, deciding to get a big tub of popcorn rather than two small ones.

You get more that way, you know.

"You look really good," I pointed out, taking a closer look at him as we headed into the theatre.

"T-thanks…" he murmured, blushing slightly.

"Really," I said enthusiastically, "that's a nice shirt… and I don't think I've seen those slacks before." I grinned broadly and nudged him in the ribs. "Ladykiller."

Shinji stumbled.

I laughed and waited for him to open the door. "Be a gentleman, Ikari," I said regally. "A proper ladykiller opens doors for women and bows them in."

Still blushing, Shinji opened the door and bowed. "After you," he muttered.

"Oh stop!" I protested, blushing myself. "Just get in there, dork!"

He grinned like an idiot and stepped into the theatre, keeping the door open so I could slip through.

"Thanks."

He nodded and we took our seats, spending a few minutes arranging our bounty of candy and popcorn on the free seats next to us. The theatre was mostly empty, and no matter how many times we looked towards the door… none of our other friends showed up.

"Guess it's just us," Shinji murmured as the lights went down and the screen came to life.

"Guess so," I shrugged, grabbing a handful of popcorn. "Pass me some Dots."

We watched the movie for a bit, but eventually just started talking. We bantered a bit about school… he told me what living with Asuka was like – and his guardian, Misato Katsuragi. Basically, we did the things you do with friends… or on a first date. To this day, I can still remember how I started to figure it out. It wasn't Shinji's choice of (really hot) clothes that tipped me off, nor was it the swell of music that accompanied the opening of, 'Any Place is Heaven – with you.' It was the tickets.

"Here," I said absently, reaching into my purse and pulling out a few bills during a particularly sappy scene.

"What's that for?" Shinji asked, glancing away from the again-kissing couple onscreen.

"The ticket, silly," I giggled. "You don't have to pay for me, you know."

"I didn't."

I looked at him for a moment. "So we snuck in?" I asked finally, frowning.

"No!" Shinji gasped. "They were at the ticket booth."

"Who paid?" I inquired, popping a Dot into my mouth and grimacing as its thick, chewy texture reminded me that I had a dentist's appointment on Monday.

"Hikari, I guess," Shinji shrugged, commenting around a mouthful of popcorn, "the attendant even knew my name." He swallowed. "Hikari must have known I'd get her first… I like to be on time."

"Yeah," I answered thoughtfully, leaning back in my chair. "I know…" I sat up suddenly. "What did he say, exactly?" I asked, turning to face Shinji.

He paused, a chocolate bar frozen comically just inside his mouth. "Well," he said slowly, lowering the bar with a definitely disappointed look. "He said, 'Ikari?' I said, 'Yeah?' and he said, 'Thought so – told me you'd have a black shirt on. Here, got two tickets for ya.'"

"Oh I should have known," I groaned, leaning back in my seat and slapping my forehead.

"What?" Shinji inquired, confused.

"Think about it," I told him disgustedly, "why are you dressed up? Who paid for the tickets? Where is everyone else??"

Shinji considered all this for a minute, his eyes widening as he blushed. "We're… on a date??" he gasped, suddenly leaning away from me as if I was infected with some horrible disease.

"Thanks," I grumbled, "nice to know where I stand with you, Ikari." I sighed as he apologized. "I think," I said slowly, "maybe the Class Representative has some ideas about who should and shouldn't be together."

"Hikari?" Shinji mumbled, still confused, "Why would she do something like that?"

"Because she's our friend…" I explained quietly, staring up at the ceiling, "Because you and I get along." I turned to him, smiling. "We do, right?"

"Y-yeah," he answered quickly, "of course we do! I like you."

If ever a boy turned a brighter shade of red, I've never seen it.

"I didn't… I don't… I…" he stammered.

"I know what you meant," I laughed, putting my hand on his, "I feel the same."

He let out a gusty, definitely relieved sigh.

We said nothing for a few minutes, each considering all that had been said and letting the movie roll on onscreen. "There IS one thing that I'm not sure about, though…" I said thoughtfully.

"What's that?" Shinji asked curiously.

I grinned. "How bad the payback's gonna be."

He laughed for a moment. "Don't… don't make it _too_ bad, ok?" he asked after he had stopped laughing. "She meant well, right?"

I met his eyes, smiling as I commented, "You really _are_ sweet…"

He looked away, fumbling for something to say.

"Shinji," I said as he trailed off, "I had fun with you tonight." I squeezed his hand, "But I don't want there to be… a misunderstanding. I-"

"You don't have to say any more," Shinji cut in quickly. "I know you don't like me like that."

I sighed. "Sorry…"

"It's ok," he replied, smiling. "I'd rather know now. And I like having you as my friend."

"I like that too," I said honestly. On impulse, I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Wanna get something to eat?" I asked, grinning as he gaped at me, "This movie is lame."

He put his hand on his cheek, smiling foolishly as he nodded.

"Come on," I laughed, standing up and urging him from his seat.

Twenty-five feet past the exit to the theatre, Shinji's cell phone rang. "Hello?" he said, his smile falling away. "Yeah… ok. No, it's ok… I'll be there."

"Something wrong?" I asked, frowning slightly as he stared at his phone. "Shinji?"

"No," he sighed, "but I have to go… we have to have a sync test to find out…" he sighed again, deeper. "Something… I don't know, it was technical…"

I put my hand on his shoulder. "Hey," I said gently, "are you ok?" I shook my head slowly as he told me it was just routine, elaborating, "I don't mean this, Shinji… I mean just… are you ok? Like… are you happy?" I blushed as he stared at me. "It's… not a strange question!" I protested, shuffling my feet. "I'm your friend, right? Shouldn't I ask if you're ok? You just look so… serious, all the time."

He stared up at the stars for a minute before answering, "I have a lot I have to think about, Grace. I have to make sure I do what I'm supposed to do for EVA… or everyone else suffers for it. I have to get good grades… or I'll disappoint Misato. I have to make sure I'm extra polite to everyone at school… or they'll say that I think I'm better than them." He shrugged uncomfortably, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I'm serious because… well… I can't _not_ be."

I nodded thoughtfully, then threw my arms around him, giggling, "And now that I've got you pinned, I'm going to seriously tickle you!!" He gaped, then struggled gamely, but I held him tight, laughing maniacally until he had almost no choice but to join me. "That's better," I said happily, resting my forehead on his as he calmed. "I like it when you laugh, Shinji," I whispered, holding his eyes with my own, "It's better."

For a minute, I thought he might kiss me… and in that minute, I wouldn't have tried to stop him. I told you before, I love his laugh, and I think I would have let him get away with a great many things if he would laugh for me. Ultimately, he simply smiled and pulled away, turning towards the train station.

"Thanks, Grace," he said quietly, starting to walk away.

"You're welcome, Shinji," I answered, raising my hand in a small wave. I didn't ask what he was thanking me for.

As he walked away, I sighed, sitting down on the curb and resting my head on my knees.

"I had a nice night," I whispered, staring into the still-damp street, "hope you did too…"

I sat still for five minutes, thinking about Shinji, and why we could never be more than friends. And as I sat there, I knew exactly how to deal with Hikari.

"Oh yes," I smirked, getting to my feet, "I think I have just the solution for the young Miss Horaki…"

**

The next day was dull… so dull I don't even want to talk about it. I will mention that Shinji – thankfully – greeted me the same as he always did. I had been concerned that maybe he _wanted_ to be more than just friends, and didn't know how to ask… but his little smile and wave convinced me that all was well.

It also set the stage for the walk home with Hikari.

"Saw Shinji wave at you," she said, running to catch up to me on the street as I headed for home.

"Sure," I shrugged, shooting her a narrow glance. "Missed you and the _others_ at the theatre, though," I told her, my voice noncommittal. "Kinda turned out to be just me and him…"

"Yeah," Hikari giggled. "That was my plan!"

__

Yeah, I thought, rolling my eyes, _I know._

"So how'd it go?" the brown-haired girl asked excitedly.

It was _definitely _time to illustrate to her the error in meddling with other's love lives.

"I slept with him," I answered flatly.

Now, Hikari is not a DUMB girl, you understand, but I think she likes to assume the best of people. "Awww," she replied, smiling, "how cute! Did he spoon with you, like in the movies?"

I grinned wickedly. "No," I responded, "but he did do something to me that _vaguely_ rhymes with fork…"

Ahhh, the simple pleasure of watching understanding dawn in someone's eyes… and shift immediately into shock.

"Y-you… you didn't!!" she sputtered, coming to a stop and looking around to make sure no one was listening, "On the first date!?"

Now, I _could _have let her off right there – the look on her face alone was taxing my composure to the limit – but I've never been one to let things go easily. "Thanks for hooking us up," I said, winking as she fumbled for something to say. "At first I wasn't so sure about it, but I figured that you must have known what you were doing, so when he put his hand on my thigh-"

"Grace!!" Hikari cut me off, covering her mouth in shock, "I… I didn't set you guys up so you could… could…"

"Do it?" I supplied, struggling not to burst into laughter as she paled, then flushed bright red, nodding slowly. "Oh come on!" I said, dropping my voice conspiratorially, "You _must_ have known how good he was…" I looked around, lowering my voice even more, "How many times have you done it with him?" I whispered, "I'll bet it's lots. Do you guys, like, set up a video camera, or something like that? He was _kinda_ kinky, with me… showed me some tricks I'd NEVER have thought of. Tell me something, though – what do you get out of setting him up with oth-"

That was all the poor Class Rep could take.

"I didn't set you up with Shinji so you could have sex with him!!" she shouted frantically, "And I've never… never…" she trailed off, her voice dropping from a yell to a whisper, "I've never even been kissed…"

"Me neither," I smiled, taking a cautious step backwards.

I wasn't sure how she would respond to the truth. She COULD take it in stride, understanding that I was teasing her to get back at her for trying to play matchmaker… or she could cry – or hit me. I really didn't want to be hit…

Fortunately for me, her first response was confusion. "You… huh?" she blinked.

I smiled. "I've never been on a date," I told her honestly. "And Shinji… well, I'm not going to count that as my first."

"Why?" Hikari asked curiously, still trying to decide what emotion she should be feeling.

"Easy," I shrugged. "For one thing, it was a setup," she blushed as I added, "And a bad one, at that. For another…" My smile softened. "He's a really nice guy – but he's not what I'm looking for." Hikari confessed that she didn't understand, so I sat down on the grass, motioning for her to do the same and taking a moment to collect my thoughts.

"Shinji is really nice," I said slowly, looking up into the bright blue sky. "But I don't think we would work together. He's… complicated. Does that make sense? I think he needs someone that would take care of him… tell him how great he is… give him all they had, and still offer more. And you know something, Hikari? I don't want to be that someone."

Hikari considered this for a moment, finally looking me in the eye and asking, "Why not?"

I knew she was going to ask that… and I had been dreading it since I first thought about how I could explain to her that her little plan to hook us up was a bad one. "Hikari," I said quietly, "I'm fourteen. I don't want to be the greatest love of someone's life." I lowered my voice. "I also don't want to break anyone's heart." I leaned back on my elbows, fiddling idly with a blade of grass as I continued, "I don't want to be Shinji's first love, Hikari, because it could only end one of two ways: with us together forever, or with one of us hurt."

"You don't know that," Hikari said softly, hugging her knees to her chest. "Maybe he's the one you're meant to be with – you guys always look so happy together."

"That's because he's my _friend_, Hikari," I explained. "I love hanging out with him, he's really nice and he's easy to talk to. But that doesn't mean I want to have his babies!"

She chuckled weakly. "I wasn't saying you guys should get married…"

"Then you're saying you want one of us to get hurt," I told her seriously. "Look," I said calmly. "The way _I_ see it, Shinji is an all or nothing kind of guy. He doesn't really look like it on the surface, but if you get past that shy guy shell of his, he's _lonely_ Hikari." I sighed. "Now what do you think would happen if I started dating him, got into his heart…" I lowered my voice further. "Got into his _dreams_… and then decided it wasn't going to work? What do you think that would do to him?"

"But… but it _might_ work!" Hikari protested feebly. "You guys might be together forev-"

"No!" I cut in angrily. "I don't want that right now, Hikari! I just want to go to school! And have fun with my friends! And be a _kid_! I don't want to plan my future right now!" My anger faded. "And what if he decides that _he's_ tired of it after a while? Then what?" I met her eyes, my tone entirely serious. "What about _me_, Hikari?"

I hate silence – especially when it comes from someone I consider a friend. I always feel the need to fill it with noise, to chase it away with laughter and jokes. But I didn't that time. I wanted Hikari to understand _why_. I needed her to figure out that, even though it looked like Shinji and I were a cute couple, maybe neither of us was ready to be pushed together.

"I'm sorry," she said finally, turning away from me.

"Don't be sorry!!" I practically screamed, sitting up and grabbing her by the arms as she turned around in surprise. "Don't be sorry! God! Sorry is such a copout!!" She frowned in confusion as I took a deep breath, trying to put my thoughts in order. "Instead of being sorry," I whispered. "Be my friend. Don't try and decide what's right for me – or for God's sake, at least _ask_ me first! Don't I deserve that much? Isn't that what friends do?"

Again… silence. Long… cloying… smothering silence, broken only by my ragged breathing and the lazy hum of cicadas.

I hate cicadas.

"You know," Hikari whispered gently. "You're kinda cute when you get all worked up."

I released her arms as she offered me a tentative smile. "Drop all the weak compliments you like," I sniffed haughtily, folding my arms. "You're never going get in my pants."

"Sure," she grinned. "Only Shinji, right?"

I bristled, unsure if she was joking or just really, really dense. I relaxed considerably as she leaned forward and embraced me.

"You're a bitch," she muttered, _almost_ ruining the sweetness of the moment. "You had me going with that, 'Me and Shinji did it' bit…"

I snickered. "That's 'cause you're so stupid," I told her. "God didn't give you good looks _and_ brains – and since you're so doable, you-"

"Oh Lord," Hikari groaned. "Did you just say 'doable'??"

"You know it, hot stuff," I laughed, leaning back from her. "Those cute freckles, that sweet little butt, those firm little-"

"Yeah, I _get_ it!" Hikari interjected, rising to her feet. "And can you not say 'little' when you're talking about my _boobs_??"

"Oh yeah," I retorted dryly as I stood. "Because I'm so stacked that I can judge? I borrowed a _bra_ from you, Hikari – I know what you've got."

"Grace," she said gravely. "You're not getting in my pants."

I turned away, grinning broadly as I replied, "Why Hikari – I would never dream of cutting in on Suzuhara's action!"

"Ahhh!!" the class rep squealed, hurrying to catch up as I started to walk away. "How did you know??"

"Oh come on!" I laughed. "The only ones who _don't_ know are the boys – and since they _are_ boys, they won't figure it out anytime soon… so relax." I grinned, nudging her in the ribs as I added, "But if you want… I can tell him that a bunch of us are getting together to go see a movie on Saturday…"

The End

Author's notes: yes, originally Grace and Shinji were going to date – you got me. I had actually planned this story as an exploration of breakups and the ways relationships can end, but I decided that it would work better as an exploration of why people DON'T get together. I kinda like Grace… she might get another story some time, but it'll be a while. It took me well over six months to piece this story together, so if she does pop back up, it might take a while to get another story out of her. She doesn't like to be forced into anything, you know. ^_~

Pre-read was by Rhine (who said, 'Dude… I don't think this works as a romance…') and Ryoma (who said, 'Damnit! Don't you ever stop writing?!?!). Thanks guys… you rule.

Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com


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